Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Popcorn with extra butter please

The first months of 2010 have a lot of movies coming out that I will probably not shell out $10 to see. I usually try to keep it to 1 movie or less a month because I'm cheap and broke and it hurts my heart to give over that much of my dinero for a movie. As I search for a seat in the theater I inevitably start to imagine the stars of the film flying over my head in their private jet to a grand vacation in Cabo so they can roll around in their cash Scrooge style and it ruins things for me.

Also keep in mind that I watch Jerry Springer and Maury daily so they're not asking me to be on the Oscars board anytime soon.

I wanted to see Youth in Revolt but didn't. The wallet is lean and food is more important than movies ya'll. I'll wait til it's in the Redbox machine for $1.

Did you watch anything in Jan. that I need to go back and re-visit?

Dear John
I have a dirty dirty crush on Channing Tatum and I appreciate a good cry just as much as the next girl, but let's be serious here. I can just try on jeans at home and then look at pictures of him online if I want to achieve the same sobbing and lustful longing effect. This will have to wait til it's on TV or someone forces me to watch it.

The Crazies will most likely give me nightmares from the commercials alone so that will be fun. There is also apparently a movie called the Birdemic that sounds like Hitchcock's The Birds. However, the IMDB synopsis makes me laugh really hard. Still... never going to watch either of these.

Alice in Wonderland
Yes please! The big heads creep me out but I'm really excited about this movie. I'll pay for this one.

The Back-up Plan. So apparently J.Lo gets some babies turkey basted into her and right when she's heading home from the clinic runs into the love of her life. I love J.Lo. Sadly for her NOT as much as I can't stand romantic comedies. Let me save you money, they build their relationship up until an awkward situation when everything comes crashing down because the main character wasn't honest with their heart's desire,

(See and THIS is why I could never be the star of a romantic comedy- I would inevitably get drunk and slur out my guts and then we would never encounter this problem. Or I'd get sick of trying to hide whatever the STUPID secret was in the first place and just be like 'LOOK LOVERBOY, I secretly have brown hair and I've been trying to pretend I don't because you only like blondes or whatever NOT REALLY IMPORTANT THING I've been KILLING myself to hide from you so this is me and you can like or it suck it cause it's CAUSING ME ANXIETY and I'm breaking out and not sleeping well.'... Hollywood always likes to leave out the stomach problems and undereye bags that would come from LIVING A FLIPPIN' LIE ALL THE TIME.)

and there is an epic moment where it comes out (BECAUSE THAT SHIT ALWAYS DOES PEOPLE) and they think everything is lost and are shown eating ice cream or shopping away their pain with friends for a minute and then there's a romantic answering machine message or dramatic middle of the office, "BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAY" declaration. Which is very sweet on the screen but you KNOW if some dude did that business to you in real life you'd call them a stalker and change your FB pictures to private. In conclusion, TV or until I'm tricked into watching this one.

Season of the Witch- If someone else is paying. (To be fair, by the time I started typing up April's movies in this post I had already forgotten what this was about. I'm leaving it up thought because I had a good time one lazy Sunday watching both National Treasure movies in bed on Netflix. So I'll give Mr. Cage the benefit of the doubt.)
How to Train Your Dragon- You had me at Craig Ferguson. And then continued to keep me with America Ferrara, Kristen Wiig, AND BOTH Jonah Hill and McLovin (I know he has a name in real life but it's entirely too long for me to type out, plus you probably wouldn't have any idea who I was talking about.) I'll still probably end up renting this on DVD.

Anything I missed that you're excited about?


  1. great post :)
    i'm having a photo contest! you could win a fisheye camera, locket ring, pride &prejudice, and a t-shirt! just enter a picture of your favorite adventure to http://tinyurl.com/ydl7zbz
    i'd love it if you'd spread the word!

  2. Lo, this is a great post.

    (I'm not sure if I can brave the scary big heads of A.I.W. But who knows, it's pretty hard to resist)

    Thank you SO MUCH for your encouraging words on my post "Throwing Myself In The Den". I will print your comment and keep it with me.