Monday, January 25, 2010

The pillows suck too...

Apparently cheap hotels in the state of Florida have to meet the following requirements:

1. Smell like smoke even though there is a large NO SMOKING sign placed prominently on the door, the desk and the bathroom. This apparently is translated in Florida as "no smoking UNLESS you're inside the room".

2. Advertise high-speed internet and then laugh when the users have to refresh pages 18 times. You don't have to specify that this would qualify as high speed only if you had just time-traveled from the Victorian era and don't know what a computer is.

3. Somehow have one cool cable channel then inexplicably be missing most of the basic channels. This will in no way be standard across any hotel so your guests will never know what to expect if they're traveling to multiple locations. Also, only have 10 channels available TOPS.

4. Shitty lighting. For real, do electricians in this state not know how to install overhead lights? Do they sell anything larger than table lamps here??

5. All air-conditioning units will have two settings- off and COLDER THAN A POLAR BEAR'S TEAT.

At least it's sunny here.


  1. hahah! just came across you blog :)
    ive stayed in so many cheap hotels... its so true!

  2. i still secretly kind of like the cheapies better than most 4-stars!
    only if they offer a continental breakfast with those mini muffins though; otherwise they're dead to me.

    i LOVE your blog and just followed you so i can read when you update :) thanks for stopping by!

  3. Ha - so true!
    And all of them have that musty smell, like they were built in 1970 and doubles as a fall-out shelter. Get what you pay for, right?
    I like the cheap ones most times cause I don't like to spend a lot of money on a place where I'm just going to sleep for the night.

  4. Shoot. Now you've gone and made me all homesick and shit. Dang.