Apparently cheap hotels in the state of Florida have to meet the following requirements:
1. Smell like smoke even though there is a large NO SMOKING sign placed prominently on the door, the desk and the bathroom. This apparently is translated in Florida as "no smoking UNLESS you're inside the room".
2. Advertise high-speed internet and then laugh when the users have to refresh pages 18 times. You don't have to specify that this would qualify as high speed only if you had just time-traveled from the Victorian era and don't know what a computer is.
3. Somehow have one cool cable channel then inexplicably be missing most of the basic channels. This will in no way be standard across any hotel so your guests will never know what to expect if they're traveling to multiple locations. Also, only have 10 channels available TOPS.
4. Shitty lighting. For real, do electricians in this state not know how to install overhead lights? Do they sell anything larger than table lamps here??
5. All air-conditioning units will have two settings- off and COLDER THAN A POLAR BEAR'S TEAT.
At least it's sunny here.